What Harry Saw Through The Looking Glass
by Nightmare723764
Summary: Synopsis: "Harry's just a poor boy, and nobody loves him. He then found an escape to spare him his life from his monstrosity of a family; Wonderland. Nothing really matters, when you can bend reality to your own mad image, does it? Grey!Harry Mad!Harry Manipulative!Dumbledore. Co-written with Nihatclodra."
1. Chapter 1

Synopsis: "Harry's just a poor boy, and nobody loves him. He then found an escape to spare him his life from his monstrosity of a family; Wonderland. Nothing really matters, when you can bend reality to your own mad image, does it? Grey!Harry Mad!Harry Manipulative!Dumbledore. Co-written with Nihatclodra."

 **Chapter 1**

It was a usual day in the life of one nine-year-old Harry James Potter; being totally ignored and finding solace in a good book. Today he was reading the classic _Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There_ by Lewis Carroll. Like most children living a… difficult life, Harry found solace in the library. He loved losing himself to high fantasy, anything really.

He even found this little comic shop and found another escape in comics. He especially love comics where the good guy does what's necessary no matter what others think! He especially loved Marvel comics; Spider-man, the X-men, and the Fantastic Four in particular!

"Mr. Potter! Please put away the book and pay attention!" Harry shook his head and closed his book while making a bookmark, "Now perhaps you'd like to tell the class what're you're reading?"

Harry gulped and stood up, the entire class was laughing at him making the boy flush red from embarrassment, "Um… I'm reading Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There by Lewis Carroll sir." Harry said meekly not liking being put on the spot like this.

"He's reading a sissy book! HA HA!" Dudley laughed, the laughter making his fat jowls jiggle like a bowl of gelatin.

"Well then. Perhaps you would like to read a little from the book?" The teacher asked; either not caring or noticing how he was adding to Harry's humiliation.

"Um… no sir…" The humiliated Potter child said before sitting back down.

The class afterwards continued leaving Harry to stew in his humiliation…

 _Recess Time_

Harry ran like a frightened rabbit; which is actually a quite apt description really. And his hunters aren't hounds, but rather his overweight cousin and his thugs!

Darting into an alley Harry came to a dead end and Harry felt his heart drop into his stomach, or so it felt like it, and he turned around hesitantly. Hoping and praying Dudley's usual stupidity made him miss him!

"Oi! Big D! There's your little cousin!" One of Dudley's thugs said, Piers Harry thought.

Harry felt the blood drain from his face as his overweight cousin came around the corner; huffing and wheezing like he ran a triathlon. Which is a pretty accurate assumption for the fat arsed moron.

Usually, Harry can escape them by heading to the Library, 'the Magical Realm of Thug's Bane', where they never follow him… little did Harry know that the library was exactly that: being run by a squib, and having intent-based wards on it to ensure nobody that was going to be overly loud or potentially damage the books would think to go in; nor would Harry ever learn such.

Unfortunately, he didn't make it there in time today.

After gasping and wheezing for nearly a full minute Dudley shot Harry a truly malicious glower, "Hold the freak still boys! I gotta beat some respect into the little sissy freak!" Dudley said in what was suppose to be an intimidating manner. But really it sounded painfully petulant and whiny.

Piers and… Harry couldn't remember the name of the other one. Anyway they approached and grabbed Harry. Harry tried to struggle to escape but sadly due to malnutrition Harry simply wasn't strong enough to escape.

Getting up Dudley approached with a wicked smile, "This'll hurt you a lot more then it'll hurt me. Actually this won't hurt me at all!" Dudley said with a piggish laugh.

Thug #1 and Thug #2, as Harry thought them, all laughed stupidly at Dudley's supposed 'wit' and Harry closed his eyes and prepared himself for yet another beating.

" _If I wasn't so small and weak I'd make them regret ever bullying me!"_ Harry thought viciously as the beating began.

Magic is a funny thing; despite all the 'studies' made by the Unspeakables, no one knows much about it. The truth is Magic ultimately is limitless and while it has it's own rules it doesn't follow the rules of reality or nature.

Magic is pretty much gives logic, the laws of physics and reality a big ol' middle finger.

Wild Magic, as by its very nature, is unpredictable. The magic of a child wizard or witch is equally as unpredictable. The only predictable thing about a child's magic is it is controlled by emotion, and given the immaturity of most children it might as well be Wild Magic.

Sometimes this 'Wild-Child Magic' can do unimaginable things, sometimes even changing reality itself as we know it. Granting the powers of even Gods and Demons alike to children who desire such with every fiber of their being!

This is not one of those times. After all, such things only happen to children in exceptionally dire-straits… why would it happen during a near-daily beating?

Though, this technically wasn't the usual hum-drum beating that is sadly the norm for Harry.

"Cover his mouth boys! I'm going to make sure this freak learns his place!" Dudley said maliciously.

Thug #1 and Thug #2 did as they were told, and then Dudley picked up a plank the size of a cricket bat. Harry started squirming even harder and begged Dudley not to do it. The pig in a wig snickered maliciously obviously enjoying seeing Harry squirm and beg.

"Oi Piers! Hold out his arm! Don't wanna break his ribs as well!" He said with a sneer.

Thug #1 did as he was told, though he was slightly hesitant but not much. Dudley gave Harry a 'friendly' smile, which was ruined by the malicious gleam in his eyes, and he reared back his make-shift cricket bat.

 **Crack!**

Harry screamed in pain has Dudley broke his forearm and elbow, Piers dropped the limb and it hung limply. Harry's fingers twitching madly due to the pain. Then his magic, not that he knew he had magic, did something other then ensure he survived.

It reacted.

Violently.

Thug #1 and #2 were flung away. But Dudley being both the source of his pain and object of his utmost loathing, well, Harry's magic decided to return the favor.

Dudley's make-shift bat came to life and coiled around his arm like a wooden boa and constricted his arm until a second sickening snap and scream filled the air. And then to add insult to injury the wooden boa spontaneously combusted leaving his entire arm covered in 1st and 2nd-degree burns!

Before Harry passed out from the pain and magical exhaustion he knew without a doubt that this would come back and bite him in his malnourished arse.

" _Bloody hell…"_ Was his last thought before he lost consciousness.

 _Three hours later, Hospital_

Harry opened his eyes tiredly and looked around; white walls, white ceiling, smell of disinfectant?

" _Oh bugger me…"_ Harry thought realizing he was in the hospital, " _This isn't going to end well. I just know it…"_

Sighing Harry closed his eyes and allowed himself to slip into a drug-induced slumber. Knowing that his time in the hospital would be his final bit of peace for awhile.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DUDDERS!?" The shrill voice of Petunia Dursley screamed out.

Harry just grunted in his sleep and his magic, despite being drained, went about it usual course of healing Harry. Well as much as it could anyway.

Scene Break

Petunia and a slowly purpling, as he long surpassed red, Vernon listened to the doctor as he explained the damages both Dudley and Harry suffered. Though they couldn't care less for their little freak of a nephew's well being. But Dudley being hurt by the little freaks freakishness set their blood to boiling!

" _Just wait until the little freak gets home! I'll beat him so bad he'll wish he died with his freak parents!"_ Vernon thought viciously.

"Yes, yes." Petunia said, "Now can we see our Dudders?" She asked impatiently wanting to see her darling angel.

" _I think that little freak doesn't deserve any scraps for the next week for this!"_ She thought angrily, " _I'd make sure he wouldn't get any water but we can't have the little freak dying on us! They're probably watching us!"_

The doctor nodded, "But keep in mind he's drugged so he probably be very out of it or maybe even asleep. Do you want to check on your nephew as well?"

"No, I think we should let Harry…" Vernon looked like he bit into a rancid lemon just saying his nephew's name, "Rest and recover…"

The doctor nodded and let Petunia and Vernon to Dudley's room, he was originally with other patients but he threw a hissy-fit and for the sake of the other patients Dudley was moved to his own room.

" _I have never had the misfortune to deal with such a petulant child in my life! I've seen three year old toddlers more well mannered then that boy!"_ The doctor thought shaking his head slightly, " _I feel sorry for that Potter boy… being related to such a… boorish little blighter!"_

 _An hour later_

Harry laid wide awake dreading tomorrow, sighing Harry reached with some difficult and managed to pull his bookbag into his lap. With some difficult he opened it and pulled out Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There.

"Well… this is probably the last book I'll be able to read for a while…" Harry muttered, "Might as well finish it."

Sighing Harry opened the book and flipped to the page he marked and resumed reading.

" _Man… I wish I was like Alice and could go to Wonderland… that would be bloody brilliant!"_ Harry thought as he silently read.

 _Next Day_

The drive home from the hospital was tense and silent; Dudley had to stay longer due to the severity of his burns. Harry could literally feel the aggression boiling under the surface, Harry was sure if Vernon wasn't driving he'd be strangling him with his bare hands!

" _I am so buggered! Uncle Vernon is going to kill me!"_ Harry thought frantically, but his panic didn't show physically knowing that would just make the beating even worse.

When the car pulled into #4 Privet Drive, and Vernon and Petunia silently exited the car and entered the house did his inner panic start to break through his cool facade! He knew, without a doubt, that this beating will be the most brutal one yet! Vernon flying into a rage? He could handle. But when he gets all quiet like that? That's bloody terrifying!

" _Okay Potter you can do this. If you just delay it, it'll be even worse. Just… take it like a man."_ Harry thought trying to psych himself up for the oncoming beating.

Taking a deep calming breath, Harry made a quick prayer to whoever was listening, not that Harry a believer in God or anything. It was mainly because whenever religion came up the Dursleys constantly reminded Harry that he'd burn in hell when he died because all freaks go to hell apparently.

" _God or whoever is bloody listening, if I survive this I swear I will find a way to improve my life! I swear!"_ Harry thought as he exited the car and walked to the house.

It was like watching a man walk to the gallows…

Entering the house and as soon as he closed the door Harry knew nothing other than pain and rage.

Fists. Feet. Belts. And a frying pan. All were used to brutalize the Potter child. They spat curses and hate to their unwanted, freakish, unholy nephew! Abomination! Spawn of Satan! Evil! Freak! All these and worse were spat at the near comatose child.

Eventually when Harry stopped responding entirely Vernon threw the broken child into the cupboard; uncaring if he lived or died. They locked the door and Harry Potter was summarily forgotten.

Blood oozed from gashes on his back, his nose, and all over. His breath was shallow and slow. Both his eye were swollen shut.

His magic reacted to the severe abuse and did something thought impossible. His magic sent him somewhere far away, mentally at least, as his magic went to repairing his brutalized and virtually destroyed body. To a place created before, yet has never truly existed.

 _Wonderland_

Harry woke up and looked around, " _Where the bloody hell am I?"_ He thought, " _Shouldn't I be… bleeding to death right now?"_

Harry looked at the… fantastical just didn't seem to cover it! It was like God went mad when he made this forest! Harry blinked when he saw a horsefly pass him.

No literally. It was a horse, like a rocking horse, with the wings of a dragonfly!

Harry rubbed his temples, "So… is this a dying boy's dream? Just because I read Alice in Wonderland before I was beaten to death? Eh could be worse." He muttered with a shrug.

"But is it a Dream? A Fantasy? An escape from Reality? Or have you finally just gone mad? After all… all that are Mad will now find themselves in this place…" A smooth and oddly disturbing voice said in a deep baritone.

Harry looked around wildly trying to see who, or what, ever had spoken. The voice chuckled at Harry's futile actions, "Trying to find me? Well… they say insanity is in repeating actions and expecting a different outcome. Perhaps you are mad, but then again… sanity is rather hum-drum boring isn't it?"

"Bloody hell just come out already!" Harry shouted.

The voice just chuckled, "Look behind you boy." The voice said dryly.

Harry spun around and looked at the single oddest looking cat he had ever seen. It was large, its fur was pink with purple stripes. Its eyes were golden and cat-like, they gleamed with intelligence and madness. And across it's face was a grin that was not physically impossible for a cat to possess!

It took Harry a moment or two to gather his wits, "Wait… you're the Cheshire cat!" He said blinking wildly, "But… you're fictional! And… I'm in Wonderland?"

"Who's to say what's real and what's not? How can one tell if they have existed for as long as they remember, or if they remember what never was? How can one be sure that there is anything that doesn't exist, or could come into existence like _Child's_ Play?" the Cheshire replied, putting an odd emphasis on 'Child'.

Harry rubbed his head and groaned, "Curiouser and curiouser…" The Potter child muttered making the Cheshire chuckle, "What?"

"Oh, just memories that never were; and nostalgia for what never will be." the cat stated coyly.

Harry groaned and continued massaging his temples, "Can you… at least show me the way? I'm lost in a land I thought existed only in fiction." Harry asked.

"Certainly, Alex, I can show you to where you don't need to go, for answers of questions never needing to be asked. Follow along." Cheshire spoke while fading out of existence.

Harry blinked and followed as it faded in and out of existence, "Um… why did you call me Alex? My name is Harry, Harry Potter." Harry asked scratching his head until the cat's voice came from above him.

"Truly? You look like an Alex, smell like an Alex, react like an Alex, and Alex like an Alex… how could it be that you are not so?" it questioned.

Harry opened his mouth to question the mad cat but stopped himself, knowing that to question the mad cat would be an exercise in futility and simply accepted it and followed the cat best he could.

" _At least this is an interesting dream."_ Harry thought with a chuckle.

Harry followed the cat while taking in the utterly paradoxical scenery, " _What next? The Mad Hatter and March Hare? The White Rabbit perhaps?"_ and thus Wonderland gave an emphatic 'yes' as a table came into view.

"Well… bugger me runnin'..." Harry muttered as he stared at the mad scene before him, " _That'll teach me not to tempt fate…"_

"An interesting proposal, but I can't imagine it being very comfortable… the skill required would be impressive though," Cheshire chuckled, "I do believe this is where you didn't want to go, so I shall take my leaves."

Cheshire disappeared, with an odd swirl of leaves following him, leaving Harry with what every visitor to Wonderland both loves and loaths… a mad tea-party.

"Bloody mangy throw-pillow…" Harry muttered with a scowl.

"Come, come! You're late for tea! Awfully naughty of you! Naughty!" The sole human said, his eyes electric green one lazy and the other not, wearing a tall hat with a multitude of items only a hatter would need.

The Mad Hatter quickly approached Harry and ushered him into a seat. Harry looked at his two fellow attendance. A rather sleepy looking dormouse and a very maniac looking hare. Shaking his head Harry looked at the Mad Hatter.

"Do you know how I got here?" Harry asked, deciding to enjoy this dream before he woke up in the afterlife or in the hospital. Again.

"Why dear old Chess brought you here! Or maybe it was magic? Or perhaps this is all just some dream cooked up by a madman?" The Hatter said giggling madly, "But if you want answers you'll have to ask the Red Queen. Well she's more Blonde than Red now but you don't have to worry about losing your head anymore! Do you know why a Raven is like a Writing Desk?" He asked suddenly.

"Uh… They aren't alike…?" Harry answered tentatively.

"Not true my boy, simply not true! Not that I know why they're alike, of course." The Hatter happily supplemented.

Harry scratched his head and gave it some serious thought, " _Pins…? No. Paper? No. What could they… have… hmm…?"_ Harry tilted his head.

"Well, you'll figure it out someday m'boy, 'tis a mad question after all." The Hatter said with a mad smile.

"Err… okay. So… how do I get to the Queen?" Harry asked deciding to push the question out of his mind.

"Well, she's over the hill and not far away, of course! The Queen wanted to be more accessible this time around for her subjects." he said, pointing in several different directions at once.

Harry blinked, "You're rather mad aren't you?" He said before he could stop himself.

"Why it's like dear ol' Chess said! All are Mad here! And if I'm mad… then you must be mad too to ask such an obvious question!" The Hatter retorted giggling madly.

Harry shook his head in annoyance, "Can you just… show me the best way to get to the queen?" He asked deciding to ask it differently.

"Certainly!" The hatter exclaimed before standing up and walking in place, "You need only do this, while moving forward… I haven't figured that part out yet, but I'm sure you can!"

Harry growled and go up before picking one of the direction the Hatter had pointed out and started walking, all the while cursing what he still thinks is a dream.

"Oh my dear boy…" The Hatter said with a grin, "... This isn't a dream…" He added as he watched Harry storm off, not hearing him.

 _Hours later_

Harry leaned against a tree and wiped the sweat from his forehead, "Over the hill and not far away." Harry grumbled, "Bunch of bloody shite that what that is. Bloody mad codger… and watch, now that I complain; it'll be just passed this next hill… GOD BLOODY DAMN IT ALL TO HELL ON A PANCAKE!"

And there it was indeed, with Wonderland itself seemingly silently smirking slyly at Harry's indignation.

"Why did I think Wonderland would be a fun place to go…? Oh, right… Dursleys… carry on then." Harry thought out loud with a deadpan look on his face and a voice to match.

Shaking his head Harry made his way to the castle, still cursing under his breath. When he approached the castle he was stopped by two card guards. No literally. The guards were Playing-Cards! And playing cards in front of the gate at that. Harry closed his eyes and attempted to calm himself.

After about a minute he was successful.

"I'd like an audience with the Queen please…" He said as politely as he could, his right eyebrow twitching madly.

"Your name?" One of the card-guards asked in a very flat tone.

"Harry." The Potter said in an equally flat toneless voice.

The guards looked at each other. "The Queen's expecting you. Come with us." The right guard said.

"Okay let's go see the Queen of this Madhouse…" Harry muttered as he followed the two guards.

About ten minutes of walking later; Harry was ushered into the throne room, or so he assumed anyway, and he looked around. The room was filled with various functionaries, they were a mix of fish, frogs, cats, rabbits, and… fairies.

Shaking his head Harry looked at the queen. Instead of a grown woman sitting on the throne it was what appeared to be a seven-year-old blonde girl with bright blue eyes that gleamed with mischief. She wore something a queen in the Dark-ages would only scaled down to fit her perfectly but Harry couldn't help but think a blue petticoat and white apron would suit her better.

She also looked supremely and utterly bored out of her gourd!

She looked at me and perked right up, "Oh! Another young madman finds his way here? That is just so sad it's wonderful!"

"Um… right." Harry coughed, "Um… do you know how I got here? I'm pretty sure my Aunt and Uncle were beating me to death when I woke up here in Wonderland…"

"Oh my! That's so sad! So the madman sought refuge here? Curiouser and curiouser!" The queen chirped, "I'm Alice by the way, none of that queen stuff please."

"Okay… Alice." The functionaries gasped, "Then you can call me Harry." The Potter scion said with a smile, " _It'd be nice to have a friend even if it's just a dream."_

Alice giggled, "This isn't a dream silly!" She said playfully, "This is a place all madmen and women will come to eventually."

"But… I'm not mad! Lonely? Yes. Emotionally stunted? Yes. Mad? No! I am not mad!" Harry shouted getting annoyed at being called mad.

Some of the functionaries looked they were about to pounce on Harry for his disrespect but Alice stopped them with a wave of her hand. She hopped off her throne and approached Harry smiling at him.

"Walk with me Harry. The rose garden is beautiful." She said with a smile.

Harry nodded and followed the child-queen.

The next few minutes were passed in silence; which suited Harry just fine. He had the beginnings of a bloody savage migraine anyway. Though it did give Harry time to admire the odd architecture of the castle. In some places it looked rational and in others it looked like it should've already collapsed!

" _Bloody weird ass castle."_ Harry thought dryly.

After a few minutes walking they entered a massive garden entirely made up of white roses! Harry looked around wide eyed, of all the chores Harry loved gardening the most. He always wanted a white rose bush but knew that wouldn't happen. For some odd reason Petunia hated them, calling them unnatural for whatever reason.

Harry just chalked it up to Aunt Petunia's 'normal' obsession.

"So… not that I'm complaining… but why'd you bring me out here?" Harry asked curiously.

"Why to help you." Alice giggled, "There's nothing wrong with being mad! Nothing at all." She added with a smile.

Harry frowned at that, "Being mad implies there is something wrong with me mentally. All of my faculties are in perfect order! I am not imbalanced or anything!" Harry said sternly.

Alice giggled, "You're quite articulate for a nine-year-old Harry." Alice said with a smile, "And you do know the line between madness and genius is razor thin yes? Who's to say geniuses the world over aren't mad as a hatter?"

"I'm very well read." Harry retorted dryly, "Being abused I happen to find refuge in books. Anyways, I know that about genius and madness! But there's so many negative implications to be called mad."

"Then ignore the negative and focus on the positive! And yes, it _is_ that simple!" Alice said with a giggle.

Harry fell silent at that, making Alice giggle even more. Grumbling Harry decided to wander around the garden to think.

Scene Break

Alice watched Harry walk off with a smile; her smile widened when a familiar cat appeared. Alice looked at the mangy feline with a smile as she scratched his ears making him purr.

"You going to play the frustratingly helpful enigmatic guide like you did me Chess?" Alice asked with a smile, "He does reminded me of… well, me. Only a little more… mopey and angry at the world I suppose." Alice added after a moment's thought.

"Indeed. Alex is a lot like you in many ways… but I will ask a favour of you regarding him, do not tell him how we truly came to be, he must figure it out on his own… with frustrating hints, of course! He may very well become a great Black King." Cheshire replied in an amused tone.

"Hmm… quite high expectations for such a young boy! You must've saw something special in him then! To earn such high praise from an embodiment of madness!" Alice said with a giggle, "Take care of him Chess, I have no doubt he'll become something amazing in the future! And keep him 'balanced', after all… the best kind of madness is the kind that doesn't bend to preconceived notions of 'good' or 'bad'. That's all I ask."

"Now how could I possibly refuse an order from an embodiment of leadership? He's gonna need it anyway though… he's even more clueless and incompetent than you were; quite _literally_ a crowning achievement, I assure you." Cheshire cheekily replied.

"Oh you mangy cat. How I'll miss your razor wit and bone-dry sense of humor." Alice said dryly, "Just take care of him. Maybe open his mind to the potential madness he has? After all… a madman only has the limits he places upon himself."

"Of course; that was the plan, 'after all'." Cheshire said with a chuckle.

Alice smiled and kissed Cheshire on the forehead, "Now go on you mangy cat! You've got a ward in need of maddening yet helpful guidance!" Alice said with a smile.

Cheshire simply grinned his signature grin, before fading from view with a chuckle.

"Oh Harry you're either going to love Chess or hate him. Perhaps both like I do!" Alice said with a giggle before she turned and returned to the throne room.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's notes #1: As the story progresses elements of American McGee's Alice and Alice: Madness Returns will start appearing, with possibility for slight aspects of "Alice: Otherlands" or the TV show "Alice".

Author's notes #2: I am so sorry for how long this chapter took. I can blame it on life and sheer procrastination on my part. But truly I am sorry. I have been leaving readers wanting for… however long it's been since the first chapter. So please forgive me!

Author's notes #3: And my dear co-author had certainly earned his title as co-author! See if you can find his bit in the story!

Co-Author's Notes: You can also blame me… and blame Nightmare's computer. Also, the Spanish Inquisition; for we did not expect them. But mostly Nightmare's computer.

* * *

Harry wandered through the White Rose garden lost in thought. He wasn't mad! He wasn't!

" _But then again… is it really such a bad thing?"_ A voice in the back of his head whispered, " _After all the line between Genius and Madness is razor-thin at the best of times! Would it not be interesting to use that very line as a jump-rope?"_ The voice added with a cackle.

Harry shook his head and decided to simply… enjoy his surroundings. He may have hated how his Aunt and Uncle would loaded him down with a truly absurd amount of chores. But the one chore he enjoyed, though he never showed it as they'd make sure he'd never do it again, was gardening.

Honestly Harry was considering getting some tips from whoever planted this garden…

" _Of course even if I did it would probably be mad ramblings like with the Hatter. Why is a Raven like a Writing desk indeed!"_ Harry thought rather frustrated with it all.

Honestly he thought going to Wonderland would be kinda cool! But when in fact it was turning into a bloody migraine! And now everyone is poking at his own sanity!

" _I mean sure growing up with constant psychological and emotional abuse doesn't do much for one's rationality. But that doesn't mean I'm mad as a hatter!"_ Harry thought with a frown.

Harry was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice the Cheshire cat snuck up on him. The cat observed Harry for a few moment, finding itself rather bemused at just how… similar yet different he was from Alice. Well, the cat figured, stranger things have happened.

"Well, Alex, it appears that you are thinking in circles. Contemplating the same notion over and over again, that you are not mad, whilst expecting a different result; the very definition of that which you fight." Cheshire provided amusedly from behind the distracted young madman.

Harry spun around and glared at Cheshire, "Damn it you mangy cat! I'm not mad! I am in full control of my faculties!" Harry hissed his eyes gleaming madly though he loathed to term it that way.

"Oh Alex…" Cheshire started with mock-disappointment, "Why can't you just accept the truth of the matter? You're off your rocker. Bonkers. Stark raving mad. Mad as a Hatter. Seducing the Bandersnatch on a Tuesday. Dallying around with the Jubjub Birds. Praising the not-so-friendly Giant Mushroom. There's nothing wrong with it, if anything you just might finally find yourself at peace."

Harry just groaned annoyance and sat down on a bench and just massaged his temples. As much as Harry loathed to admit it, even to himself, the damn cat had a point. No one could grow up like he did and be well adjusted.

"Besides," the Cat continued, "it's only logical that a madman isn't in control of his mental faculties… and what self-respecting madman would possibly follow logic?"

Harry gave a chuckle, "So I should just… accept it then? The Dursley's beat me just because I'm unusual. If I start acting like a madman they'd either kill me or throw me in a insane asylum!" Harry said shaking his head, " _But then again… an asylum would be a definite improvement actually."_ Harry thought with a bemused smirk.

"You're already mad, and obviously have been for a while… if you didn't act differently when you were mad, why would that change when you are also a madman?" The Cheshire Cat answered, "And why would said changes change anything? They are only change, it's not as though they are alterations."

"... I… think I understand what you're saying. Changes are Changes over time, like maturation. Alterations are instant changes, like suddenly having your personality become that of someone else's for no apparent reason or forewarning." Harry said, "... It's rather worrying that I actually understood your mad ramblings Cheshire." He added dryly.

"Only the sane can't understand my ramblings, and they are a dangerous and unpredictable bunch. A madman you can always trust to do something strange and/or unusual, but a sane man… you can never tell when they'll suddenly do something… unprecedented." The embodiment of madness stated with an oddly worried tone, "Promise me you won't consort with such beasts."

Harry started chuckling which evolved into full-blown belly laughter. Still laughing Harry nodded jerkily to Cheshire.

After a couple minutes Harry calmed down, "Oh… I haven't laughed like that in… ever really! I needed that!" Harry said his face red from laughing.

"Then perhaps you'd like to travel to Ævureeli to do so, if such is truly required as you say." Cheshire replied cheekily.

" _Hmm… traveling around doesn't seem like a bad idea really. I'm not sure if this is just a very vivid dream or what… might as well enjoy it."_ Harry thought, "And… I assume you'd be my guide?" Harry asked aloud.

Cheshire grinned - seriously when doesn't he grin, Harry mused - and nodded. Rather eagerly at that… which confused Harry. In the books Cheshire wasn't the most… paws-on guide.

"I would love to, there are few places in Wonderland I have not been, and this Ævureeli place sounds interesting if they can harvest laughter as some form of medicine there… may I ask where such a realm lay?" The cat asked with sincere curiosity.

"Well. I suppose we could ask Alice couldn't we? But where's the fun in that hmm?" Harry said with a chuckle, "Besides there is so much to see here! I'm in no hurry."

"Ahh~," the Cat sighed contentedly, "Already you are speaking like a true madman. I do such awful work, and I love it."

Harry shook his head and disregarded the very valid point Cheshire made, "Well… where to first Chess?" Harry asked with a smile, "And it'll take me a while to come to terms with me being mad. After all I've grown up with an aunt and uncle with a borderline fanatical obsession with normality."

Chess, as Harry decided to call him, grimaced at the thought of anyone striving to be normal like that, "Quite, you have become wonderfully mad despite being raised by such savages. As to where to go, every-way sounds good; you need only walk and see where it'll take us."

With that decided Harry got up, "Well then… shall we go?" Harry paused before scratching his head sheepishly, "Umm… do you know the way out of this maze…?"

Cheshire grinned slightly maliciously, "Certainly, the way out is like this," and disappeared… without reappearing.

Harry stared blankly for a couple of moments before his face went red with rage! "GODDAMN YOU, YOU BLOODY BUGGERING MANGY FUR COAT!"

All that answered was an amused chuckle whispered on the wind.

Scene Break

In her room, as court had finally come to a close, Alice sat in front of her vanity brushing her hair.

She then heard Harry's rage and she giggled, her entire body shaking in mirth.

"Oh Chess… such an infuriatingly helpful thing you are!" She giggled before she refocused on brushing her hair.

Scene Break

Three. Bloody. Hours.

It took Harry three bloody hours to find the exit to that maze! Harry had half a mind to skin that bloody mangy cat but knew it would be an exercise in futility. Right now all he wanted was something to eat. And probably a good nap.

"Now… where can I get some food in this madhouse?" Harry muttered as he wandered around the castle.

As Harry wondered around the castle he couldn't help but think of Chess's words. Had he always been mad? Harry honestly couldn't think of a time when he came across the slightest bit mad in his life.

"But then again…" Harry muttered with dry amusement, "How could a madman tell if he's in fact mad? In all honesty, if the 'Normal Family' that is the Dursleys is any indication, I'm certainly not normal at the very least..."

In all honesty Harry simply wanted to put it out of his mind and carry on, but he kept coming back to Chess's overly convoluted and cryptic words. They really did make a lot of sense… and besides why should Harry care for the opinions of a group of… hmm…?

"What would be a good word to describe them?" Harry mused, "Animals would work… but that'd be insulting the actual animals of the world. Troglodytes perhaps? Meatsacks? No… Petunia is anything but a meatsack… honestly she's like an anorexic horse actually… hmm…"

Shaking his head Harry looked around for a card guard or someone that could point him towards the kitchen. Of course that might be an exercise in futility seeing as everyone in the land was mad but meh. Seeing a… fish in a butler uniform Harry decided to ask.

"Eh excuse me. Where's the kitchen?" Harry asked the slightest bit wary.

The fish looked at Harry before he pointed at the… sign above his head with a 'Kitchen through here' sign with an arrow pointing at the door he hadn't noticed until just now. Harry bit back his urge to start complaining and just nodded his head in thanks before he entered the kitchen.

The kitchen looked… well Harry wasn't sure what he was expecting really. He had been preparing himself to walk into a… well something that would've given him a migraine at least.

So seeing a rather orderly, if a bit odd, kitchen was rather surprising really…

Harry looked around curiously, "Um… hello?" He called out wondering if anyone was actually present.

"Oh? Hello deary!" An old woman (?) said but for the life of him Harry simply didn't see her, "Down here deary!"

Blinking Harry looked down. Well… technically he was right. It is an old woman. Or rather a fairy actually. She had snow white hair and wore a blue robe, and she had the expression that Harry liked to think his own grandmother would have on her face. A kind and pleasant smile on her face.

"Can I help you deary?" She asked as she fluttered up in front of his face before tisking, "You're frightfully thin deary. Have you been eating right? You look like old Skellington Jack!"

"Um… I was wondering if I could get something to eat?" Harry said with a small smile.

The old fairy smiled, "Of course deary! You just sit down and I'll whip you up something quick smart!" She said as she patted his cheek fondly.

Harry sat down at a simple table and watched as the fairy fluttered around the kitchen. It was actually a rather novel experience not having to make food for once.

"I see you've met with Miss Goodness…" Alice said from across from Harry making him jump slightly.

Harry looked at Alice, "Don't do that! You scared me!" He said clutching his chest, "When did you get here?"

"Oh… just now. I was feeling a mite peckish." Alice said with a smile, "I see the cat has calmed you down."

Harry nodded with a strange sort of exasperated yet fond smile, "Chess is the single most infuriatingly helpful being I've ever had the misfortune to meet." Harry said with a chuckle.

Alice giggled and nodded in agreement. Miss Goodness then put a large steaming plate of…? 'What is this anyway?' Harry thought.

"Why it's a happy meal!" Miss Goodness answered the unspoken question, "It's a meal made out of happiness!" She added with a smile. "And copious amounts of plastic 'cheese'…" She muttered, barely audible.

Harry blinked at that but dismissed it and took a bite. His eyes widened and he start eating faster, quickly devouring everything on the plate in minutes. After cleaning his plate Harry looked at Miss Goodness.

"Please, Ma'am, may I have some more?" Harry asked.

Miss Goodness smiled and nodded happily as she refilled Harry's plate.

Alice just giggled as Harry ate more of Miss Goodness' happy meals.

"So tell me Harry." Alice asked curiously, "What do you and Chess plan on doing?"

Harry wiped his mouth with a napkin and took a drink of… water Harry figured, and looked at Alice, "Eh just explore really. Go where our feet lead us. It'd be boring to ask for directions after all." Harry said.

"Spoken like a true madman! I bet Chess was bursting with pride when you said that!" Alice said giggling. Her giggling turned to full-blown laughter when Harry nodded.

Harry eventually joined Alice in her laughter, Miss Goodness just smiled as she watched the young Madman and the Red Queen.

" _I think the young Madman will do the Red Queen some good."_ Miss Goodness thought, " _Maybe he could put a smile on the White Queen's face? … Doubtful, seeing as she came into being with a perpetual frown on her face..."_

Shaking her head in amusement Miss Goodness simply served Harry another Happy meal with a smile, too, on her face.

After a couple of hours of eating Happy Meals a pleasantly full, and what a novel sensation that is Harry mused, madman was lead out of the kitchen by a smiling Alice.

"Come on. Let's find you a room so you can get some sleep." Alice said with a giggle.

"Mmm hmm…" Harry said simply, he was already half asleep. If Alice left him alone he would've slept in the kitchen!

Alice smiled and guided the young madman to the guest wing of the castle, passing by various Card guards and staff members as she did so. After a few more minutes and taking a detour through a dungeon they reached the guest quarters.

"Let's get you in bed." The child-queen said with a smile, "You got a big adventure with Chess tomorrow after all!"

Harry mumbled some words before he staggered to the bed and simply fell onto it face first. Alice giggled before she left him where he laid.

Before Harry fell asleep he couldn't help but think, " _Best… dream… ever…"_

Looking at Harry for a few more seconds, Alice giggled before she skipped off to her own chambers where Chess was waiting. He said he wanted to talk about something with her.

" _Probably about his new mad ward."_ She thought with a giggle as she skipped along to her room.

After another couple of minutes, this time with a detour through a sewer, a butchery, a gingerbread house, and a quick doubleback to avoid an evil partridge in a pear tree with hand grenades; Alice finally got to her room and entered.

"So what were you wanting to talk about, Chess?" Alice asked with a smile.

"Well, Alice, something rather interesting seemed to happen when I agreed to be Alex's guide earlier…" The infuriating cat answered, "I was hoping you could elaborate an answer as to what it was, or at the very least confuse me further about it."

Alice giggled, "Okay. What perplexes you, you infuriating mangy feline?" She asked with a smile.

"It was a most maddening thing, and in that I wholeheartedly approve, but when he asked me to guide him there was some sort of… connection… that appeared between us… and I hardy mean something and quaint as empathy." Chess elaborated, "Even now, something compels me to return to his side… it's quite interesting."

"Hmm… well I can't make heads or tails, or even torso of it Chess…" Alice said, "Maybe it's magic? Or maybe it is that you found yourself attached to Harry like you were with me?"

"Magic, perhaps, but even we are not certain as to if it truly exists or not… Wonderland simply hasn't spread far enough yet. All we know are from the vague minds of Alex's pet savages, and they aren't nearly mad enough to be reputable sources of information. As for my attachment to you, we both know that never truly happened; so how could it possibly compare? … This connection is truly maddening, it's making me **logical** of all things! Me!" Cheshire shuddered, "Not to mention this… bond's… pull on my mind seems to get stronger the longer we are apart. I can only wonder what would happen should it be let to reach a crescendo!"

"Well… ain't that sweet? The embodiment of madness being all logical!~" Alice cooed with a giggle, "It will provide you the most infuriatingly enjoyable mystery I would think!" She added with a smile

Chess had a worried and thoughtful look upon his face… which is actually more disturbing than his grin somehow, "I'm concerned… if an embodiment goes against its very nature, would it cease to be, or would it evolve into something… else…?" He asked with a yawn.

Alice looked slightly perplexed, "Chess… I think that's the first time I've ever seen you yawn… are you even capable of getting tired?"

"No, Alice… I'm not… supposed to get tired at all… this connection… truly… is… mad… den… ing…" Cheshire trailed off before passing out.

"Chess…? Are… are you alright? Chess!?" Alice asked with a shaky and scared tone, as Cheshire's body seemed to shrivel and become skeletal before her, his colors muted.

Cheshire gave a rattling sigh as he disappeared similar to how he normally does.

"Chess? [b]Chess[/b]!? [B]CHESS[/B]!?" Alice screamed, as a frog butler entered her room.

"Yes, My Queen, would you like to play white or black?" the butler asked, setting up a chess board.

"ARRRRRRGH!?" Alice screamed in exasperated frustration at the butler.

He did not so much as blink as he calmly said "Yes My Queen, you shall play black. Excellent choice."

Harry jerked awake and moaned in pain, "Wha…?" He groaned as he opened his eyes.

And found himself in a familiar cramped space. Harry groaned and stretched slightly, wincing as stiff newly-healed muscles and bones moved for the first time in hours. Giving a small yawn, Harry relaxed.

"So… it was all just a dream?" Harry muttered to himself.

"Curiouser and curiouser, as you like to say," A smooth baritone spoke from above him, "I did not think I'd be dragged out here to this world with you…"

Harry blinked and shifted around ignoring his body's protest and found him face to face with a very… different looking Chess. He was now a grey, skeletal feline with an abnormally large head, tribal markings replacing the stripes in his fur, his ears missing random chunks with an earring piercing the right one, piercing yellow eyes, a tail with a tuft of longer fur at the end, and his signature grin splitting his head in half with large blood-stained teeth. (Just image search "Cheshire Madness Returns", and you'll know exactly what he looks like now)

"What the bloody hell happened to you!?" Harry asked clearly bewildered, "You look like something out of a ruddy nightmare!"

"Yes, thank you. I was rather proud of my plump gait and luscious purple fur… I do not know why I look like this now, but I will simply have to make due. At the very least, my meals should die in fright when I smile at them now!" the Cheshire said exasperatedly, before flashing a smile at Harry that looked positively demonic.

"Bloody hell you look like something that crawled out how a horror story!" Harry said, "... Wanna terrorize Dudley?"

"Not even a spare thought as to how I'm in your reality… you're fast becoming a madman to be proud of my dear Alex!" Chess stated proudly, "So, as a reward… I'll sit on your shoulder, and will only scare your cousin if you manage to get out of this half-rotten wooden prison you call your room. Got to give you some motivation, do I not?" he said with a cheeky tone.

"Oh, I'm wondering; but I figured it wasn't really important." Harry said with a shrug and he looked at the door in thought.

He could just kick open the door, like Chess said it **was** half-rotten. Though that'd be too straightforward and boring. Looking around he started digging around in some of the junk that was thrown in here.

"Hmm… ah ha!" Harry said in triumph as he pulled out a screw driver!

Grinning Harry moved over to the door and tested it first. Pushing on it he found it was locked up, honestly he could've been nothing but a corpse and they'd still lock the ruddy door. Snorting in amusement he instead found the hinges of the doors.

It would seem that he was in luck! The screws were the same as his screw driver! With a grin Harry went to unscrewing the hinges, humming this odd discordant tune that just came to him.

Chess watched the young madman with a proud grin, it would've been so easy just to kick the door open. But he was thinking outside the box! That's what Chess was hoping for! Maybe this connection works both ways, Chess becoming more logical, and Harry more mad? Nah, that's crazy-talk, and thus obviously true. If he just kicked open the door that would've been boring and expected! Even if undoing the hinges is only slightly better, but it's a start!

"Stupid… ruddy… screws!" Harry muttered as he worked on finishing the first hinge, absentmindedly thinking to just kick the door and get it over with. But then again that'd draw some unwanted attention and honestly… this was more fun! He felt like he was in a spy novel or something!

After another few minutes, maybe ten, Harry unscrewed all the hinges and grabbed the door. He then carefully slid the door until it popped out. Sliding it to the side Harry climbed out and looked around. It was dark, it was midnight at the very least.

Giving another look around Harry made a beeline straight to the kitchen. His stomach demanded sustenance! Opening the fridge Harry pulled out a large ham and a bowl of mashed potatoes, after he put those on the table he went back to get the bowl of brown gravy.

His stomach growled and he got a plate; Aunt Petunia's fine china. Why the fine china that Harry had to clean obsessively despite it was never used to eat and is only used as a decoration? Because Harry was feeling very spiteful over his near-death experience that's why!

Harry started piling on ham, potatoes, and gravy on to his plate. If Chess wanted any he was free to get whatever he wanted. Grabbing a fork out of the silverware drawer Harry sat down and started eating not caring in the slightest if it was cold so strong was his hunger!

Cheshire began to drink the gravy after mumbling something about keeping his figure.

Harry snorted, "Chess you could stand to put on a couple pounds." He snarked, "Not sure if you've looked in a mirror but you look like a feline Jack Skellington."

"I'll have you know that Ol' Jack was considered quite handsome by many," Chess retorted haughtily, "And it is impossible for me to be anything but the height of attractiveness, my reputation demands it!"

"Yeah… but you have something he doesn't have." Harry said dryly

"I'm a Cunning Linguist and a Master Debater?" Chess replied with a strange mix snark and pride.

"Unlike him… you still have skin," Harry finished with a huff.

"Oh, yes, that too. Can't experience all the right pleasures without it!" Cheshire said with an 'I know something you don't know' smirk.

Harry gave a slightly confused snort and just focused on feeding his belly!

" _Why do I feel like I might get sued?"_ Harry thought blinking in confusion, " _Oh, right; I have a disney-copyrighted character following me around…"_

Shaking his head he looked at Chess, "You know you can have some ham if you like." Harry offered, "You look like you needs some meat on your bones anyway."

"Too right, can't have myself getting eaten and disappointing the poor predator!" Chess declared before beginning to nibble on his ham.

"... Rrrriiiiigggggghhhhhhhtttttt…" Harry drawled before he focused on his food.

… Why is Chess so bloody odd? Oh yeah… madcat…

Unfortunately, their conversation drowned out the stalking steps of the elusive 'Gossipinus Giraffinus' as she slowly came across her prey, and prepared her wailing cry of dominance upon them.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING YOU LITTLE FREAK!? IS THAT MY FINE CHINA!? YOU'LL BE LUCKY TO GET ANY FOOD FOR A MONTH FOR THIS!" Petunia screeched.

"... Bloody hell…" Harry muttered. " _This isn't good… yet somehow, I can't seem to bring myself to care."_

Harry sighed stabbed his fork into a big pile of ham and looked at his aunt with a perfect deadpan, "Nice to know you cleaned up after you and that walrus of a husband nearly beat me to death…" He said dryly, "I wonder if all normal people beat family like you do?" He snarked.

"You… how dare you! You're just a freak, just like my sister! You have no right to insinuate such things about us you damned freak! We feed you, and give you a roof over your head you damned freeloader!" Petunia used Roar, it's not very effective.

"Freak, freak, freak… is that all your 'normal sized' *pfft-* brain can come up with as an insult? And freeloader? I do all the damned housework around here, barely get fed, get beaten for any reason you and your walrus of a husband can come up with, and get shoved into a freaking cupboard every night! I'm not a freeloader, I'm your bloody fucking slave! And surely even you realize that 'Normal People' don't keep slaves, let alone child-slaves that are blood-related to them!" Harry ranted as he was on a roll, one that was disappointingly lacking in cinnamon or butter, but a roll none-the-less!

"Wha- that's- how dare you!" Petunia spluttered, flabbergasted. The freak never showed this much backbone before! Wait… "What's that disgusting animal doing on the table!? Shoo!" She made a swatting-gesture at Chess.

Harry made a point to swallow all the food in his mouth, he knew this was gonna be good.

"I must say," Chess said in mock amazed-sounding baritone to a shocked Petunia, "I have never in my life seen a savage beast such as that actually acknowledge that they are disgusting creatures and then tell themselves to shoo… perhaps there is more madness to them than I initially thought?" he said thoughtfully.

"I meant **you** you freak of nature! You're from **that place** aren't you, that's the only explanation! LEAVE YOU FREAK! LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK!" Petunia shrieked in rage! She was so loud Vernon and Dudley's snoring actually halted for a split second.

"Hmm? 'That place' you say? And what place is that, for you have painted me most intrigued!" Cheshire asked interestedly.

"You know bloody damn well what I mean! All you freaks come from that 'Pigpimples' place, don't you!?" Petunia growled like a cornered animal.

"Pigpimples? Someone actually named a place 'Pigpimples'...?" Harry asked flabbergasted.

"Yes, Boy, and Vernon and I vowed to never let you go there, that we'd stamp out your freakishness before the time came!" Petunia spat.

"So… there's a place with more 'freaks' like me, that I may go to in the future, and thus possibly not see you ever again… and you want to **stop** me from going…?" Harry asked, surprised.

"I- I- I… Clean that plate 15 times when you're done, it needs to be spotless! … I need to think…" Petunia then walked off distractedly, with a confused curl on her brow.

"Well, Alex… I must say; madness is quite becoming of you. Just look at how easily you got information out of that unintelligent beast, **and** got it to leave you alone!" the Cheshire cat exclaimed excitedly.

"... Did… did that really just happen…? Well, either that or I've finally snapped and this is a hallucination… which is far more likely actually… Oh well, better just have fun then!" Harry decided, and went back to his food happily.


End file.
